Aliens and the World Cup

It seems that there has been quite a few logical arguments made lately about the existance of extra terrestrials by such notables as Stephen Hawking and The History Channel. Even the Pontiff, himself, has recently acknowledged the possibility of their existance.

So, if they do exist and have a keen interest in human behavior as has been suggested, then they must be observing the World Cup soccer ("futbol") tournament.

In many ways, most Americans are in the same boat, so to speak. We have very little exposure to the "world game" and even less exposure to the cultural intricacies of the other continents as it relates to sport.

As a psuedo alien myself, with very little experience in watching soccer, I can say that the actual extra terrestrials must be less than impressed with our collective human fortitude.

Supposedly, these are the most athletic, most famous, national heroes of their respective countries. The best make salaries that put Alex Rodriguez to shame. While I can admire the tremendous skill and coordination required to excel at the game, it is also a microcosm of American perception of much of the rest of the world.

The best player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo, (by some accounts) is well known for his "flopping," and that seems to be a common practice among most players. The look of agony on a player's face is quite hilarious when replay shows that the player merely tripped on his own feet or took a "dive."

Then, they roll, suffering, on the ground while clutching their leg, foot, etc.

As a beer drinking southerner, I find myself thinking "get up boy, you ain't hurt."

Even as I write this, I am seeing a player carried off on a stretcher with his hands over his face. Honestly, give me a break... He fell, perhaps while getting kicked in the shin.

(The aliens must know that they have us whenever they want us...)

Then, to top it off, on most of these incidents, the team trainers (who must be really well trained to carry out this job) rush to spray some cold spray on the afflicted body part or apply an old school ice pack which is followed by an offer of a stretcher ride to the sidelines. Most of the time, the stretcher ride is waived off in favor of hopping right back up to play as if nothing was wrong.

If he was really injured that badly to begin with, I've got to get some of that spray. More likely, these fellows don't understand the difference between being injured and being hurt.

By contrast, that type of "injury" happens every play in a game of American football.

What happened to heroes being tough, playing through the pain, and certainly not faking injuries/fouls. (Amazingly, the referees fall for it almost every time)

I guess the closest thing to these "flops" is in the NBA, which has an increasing European influence. I don't know that the NBA carries the same type of passion among fans as soccer or football does either.

Question: I wonder if Phil Jackson limited Kobe Bryant's sexual activites during the finals as many of the latin coaches did in the World Cup to their players?

So, if the Aliens are anything like Americans, (and I suspect that they are...) then they are left feeling quite entertained by the World Cup and fulfilled with a vast aura of superiority.